How Colette Fehr Landed a Literary Agent and a Book Deal with Penguin Random House
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In today’s episode of The Personal Branding Podcast, I’m joined by psychotherapist, writer, and author Colette Fehr, whose debut book The Cost of Quiet is being published by Penguin Random House.
When Colette and I first met in 2023, she had no platform, no social media presence, and a single goal: I need to write this book, and I need to figure out how to get it out into the world.
Nearly three years later, she’s built an audience of 45k+ across Instagram, TikTok, and Substack, delivered a TEDx talk, and landed a traditional publishing deal with one of the biggest publishers in the world.
This conversation is one of the most honest we’ve had on the show about what it really takes to keep going when building something from scratch feels emotionally exhausting.
We talked about:
the hidden psychological cost of putting yourself out there
how persistence shaped her publishing journey
and why believing in your work matters just as much as strategy.
If you’ve ever wanted to write a book, build a platform, or share your ideas publicly, this episode will remind you why staying in it is worth it.
Colette Jane Fehr is a licensed psychotherapist and nationally recognized relationship expert.
She’s the author of The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations That Create Secure, Lasting Love (February 3, 2026 Penguin Random House). Colette co-hosts the hit podcasts Insights from the Couch: Real Talk for Women at Midlife and Love Thy Neighbor: The Relationship Show, and her TEDx talk Secrets of a Couples Therapist was selected as a TED Editors’ Pick.
From “No Platform” to a Publishing Deal
When Colette first started, she describes herself as someone who only posted “family vacation photos” and had no idea how social media worked.
“I had no platform at all. I mean, none. And it was the most daunting part of the process for me.”
What surprised her most was the emotional side of posting.
“It’s so much more vulnerable than people think… you put all this work into a post and nobody likes it, nobody sees it. Even if you know it’s an algorithm, it still feels like rejection.”
We talk about why building a platform is less about talent and more about being willing to be uncomfortable, especially when you don’t have immediate feedback or validation.
Writing The Cost of Quiet
Colette’s book was inspired by her own first marriage and divorce, and by years of listening to women in her therapy practice describe the same pattern:
“I don’t say it because it doesn’t go well.”
“I don’t bring it up because it’s not productive.”
“I just try to keep the peace.”
In the book, she gives readers a practical roadmap for learning how to self-advocate in relationships, without waiting for the other person to change first.
“The fundamental premise is that we think our partner’s response dictates our ability to speak up. And it doesn’t.”
She also shares how she finally began writing the book after finding an old journal entry from 2018 that said, This is the year I finally write this book.
Five years later, she hadn’t written a word.
“That was the moment I realized it was now or never.”
She started waking up early, writing messy first drafts, and giving herself permission to write without worrying about how good it sounded, a process she describes as freeing after years of perfectionism.
How She Found Her Agent (and Didn’t Take No for an Answer)
One of the most powerful parts of Colette’s story is how she landed her agent. After a chance introduction through a therapy client, her future agent loved the book idea, but told her she couldn’t sign her without a platform.
Instead of walking away, Colette stayed in touch.
She sent updates.
She shared ideas.
She followed up.
“I didn’t want to be a pest… but I also didn’t want to disappear.”
Eventually, her persistence worked.
“She told me, ‘You still don’t have the platform, but I believe you’ll build it.’ And she took a chance on me.”
The Emotional Cost of Marketing Yourself
As launch day approached, Colette described feeling “overexposed,” like she had no emotional skin left. We talk about the spotlight effect, the fear of annoying people, and the exhaustion that comes from constantly promoting something deeply personal.
And we also talk about something important:
What feels like over-promotion to you rarely feels that way to your audience.
From the outside, showing up looks like commitment. From the inside, it feels like vulnerability.
Advice for Sensitive Creators
For anyone who feels rejection deeply but still has a dream, Colette offers this:
First, let yourself feel it.
Validate how hard it is.
Offer yourself compassion.
Then, and only then, remind yourself:
“I am good enough. I deserve to be here. This doesn’t define my worth.”
Her mantra through the process: Work hard and believe. Because giving up guarantees nothing happens at all.
What an Authentic Personal Brand Means to Her
For Colette, authenticity is merely part of who she is.
She shows up sometimes polished in her office, and sometimes walking outside without makeup, talking directly to the camera.
“I let people see the real humanity.”
And that, she believes, is what builds connection.
Order The Cost of Quiet
https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book
Substack:
www.colettejanefehr.substack.com
Instagram & TikTok:
@colettejanefehr
Website:
colettejanefehr.com
My TEDx talk
“Secrets from a Couples Therapist”
